¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-29 374

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?

These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
And now this rate is lower.
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
But everything in those area is a burden for young couples to raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?


These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
>> These days, the hottest issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
>> According to statistics, my country's birth rate last year was 0.7 percent.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
>> CORRECT!
And now this rate is lower.
>> CORRECT!
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
>> These days, many young people are afraid of raising a child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
>> If we want to raise a child, we must first have a home and money to provide their needs and for their education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
>> So many people want to live in the capital city or big cities for good education.
But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples to raising child.
>> But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples when raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
>> CORRECT!
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
>> Different from before, many women these days graduate from the university and have good jobs.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137367 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-23 205
137366 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 1
137365 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 0
137364 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 0
137363 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 1
137362 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 238
137361 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 0
137360 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 0
137359 What is your biggest dream or goal in life? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 261
137358 How do you handle situations where challenges lead to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 266
137357 Foreign language ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 322
137356 School homework (no meter on context But Grammar is important) Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 2
137355 When do you feel most energized? What do you like to do with... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 218
137354 Have you noticed any changes in your communication habits since... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 314
137353 How do show your respect for other people? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 215
137352 2024.05.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 1
137351 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 165
137350 arranged marriage ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 173
137349 in Bundang ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 1
137348 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 351

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04