¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-29 351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?

These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
And now this rate is lower.
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
But everything in those area is a burden for young couples to raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is population growth a concern in your country?


These days, the most hot issue is the population growth.
>> These days, the hottest issue is the population growth.
According to statistics, my country's last year birth rate was 0.7.
>> According to statistics, my country's birth rate last year was 0.7 percent.
This means that only 70 children are born in 100 families.
>> CORRECT!
And now this rate is lower.
>> CORRECT!
These days, many young people have afraid of raising child.
>> These days, many young people are afraid of raising a child.
If we want raising child, we must first have a home and need education.
>> If we want to raise a child, we must first have a home and money to provide their needs and for their education.
So many people want to live in the capital or big cities for the good education.
>> So many people want to live in the capital city or big cities for good education.
But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples to raising child.
>> But everything in those areas is a burden for young couples when raising child.
The next reason is that society's perception changed.
>> CORRECT!
Differently before, now many women graduate university and have good job.
>> Different from before, many women these days graduate from the university and have good jobs.
But, many women don't have babies because they don't want to give up their careers in S.Korea.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137752 06.10 Homework ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137751 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 231
137750 6/10 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137749 6/5 Home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2
137748 Gambling on sporting events ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 160
137747 HOMEWORK FOR 06.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 3
137746 speaking task (day 1) ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 193
137745 Raising animals for food contributes to air and water pollution. ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 314
137744 Which do you like better, magazines or newspapers? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 183
137743 Is time management important? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 285
137742 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137741 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137740 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 0
137739 Do you think the ambiance is important in restaurants? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 257
137738 How do you understand the statement: ¡°Beauty is skin deep¡±? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 312
137737 Which TV series made an impact in your life? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 410
137736 What kind of TV series would you like to be made soon? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 260
137735 How are the employment opportunities in your country? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 242
137734 Homework ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137733 Do men or women make better friends? Does one gender have better... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 233

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04