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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Mar 27th\'s homework

작성자: 안*희
2024-05-29 1528

회원님의 영작문

The smart phone is one of my favorite gadget. It's really useful in our lives but sometime is bad. Because it's easy to get addicted.
We can easliy approach watching other people's lives with social network. Among them, some people comparing themselves with others who lives big house, has rich bag. They want to show that I live well even it doensn't. So, they post a fake life. They just go out and buy something to show off to other on social network. They always grab and use their smart phone for checking the comments, views. It's injurious for mental health so, I try to use social network a little bit. I'm not sure is it the gadget addiction but I think it could be.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Yun Hee, 


I agree, phone is one of the most addictive tools in today’s generation. It’s useful but also destructive in so many ways. I hope people are more aware of this kind of addiction. Thanks for sharing your opinion. ^^


-Teacher Ash



The smart phone is one of my favorite gadget.

>> The smart phone is one of my favorite gadgets.


 It's really useful in our lives but sometime is bad.

>> It's really useful in my life but it can sometimes be bad. 


 Because it's easy to get addicted.

>> It’s because I can see some people are addicted to it. 


We can easliy approach watching other people's lives with social network. 

>> We can easily see other people's lives through social media.


Among them, some people comparing themselves with others who lives big house, has rich bag.

>> One of the negative impacts of using too much phone is the tendency to compare our lives with others especially those who live in big houses and buy luxury things. 


 They want to show that I live well even it doensn't. 

>> Some people also want to show that they are living well when in fact, it’s the opposite. 


So, they post a fake life.

>> So, they post a fake life. 


 They just go out and buy something to show off to other on social network. 

>> They just go out and buy things to show off on social media. 


They always grab and use their smart phone for checking the comments, views.

>> They keep track of people’s comments and views. 


 It's injurious for mental health so, I try to use social network a little bit.

>> It’s not a very healthy mindset so, I don’t use social media often. 


 I'm not sure is it the gadget addiction but I think it could be.

>> I’m not sure if it’s gadget addiction but I think it is. 


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