¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.27

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-27 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skincare.
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skincare cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
>> CORRECT!
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
>> CORRECT!
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
>> Actually, I think these kinds of consciousness made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
>> That's why there's a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skin care.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
>> One of the reason is that they want to look handsome for the person they interested in. 
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
>> Many people said that, when their skin is in good condition, they can become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
>> Similarly, nowadays, there are other reasons why many men take care of their skin, because a good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skin care cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
>> As we know, skin care costs an arm and a leg whenever you go to a dermatologist.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.
>> Typically, people who have jobs where they need to meet many people get a lot of skin care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139237 What is the best part of your childhood? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 363
139236 The most scaring insect ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 320
139235 Fanfic of Harry Potter ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 357
139234 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 361
139233 2024.08.16 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 344
139232 In order to look good is the most important working out. ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 309
139231 Science subjects that I\'ve learned in school ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 380
139230 16.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 1
139229 2024.08.15 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 378
139228 If you could have the perfect birthday party, what would it be? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 334
139227 What do you think of the sound and smell of rain? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 337
139226 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 258
139225 Agust 14th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 220
139224 8/16(Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 380
139223 Have you ever worked in a place where you felt unhappy or... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 384
139222 How to stop bullying in school. ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 6
139221 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 0
139220 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 0
139219 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 0
139218 What type of content would you suggest we produce to keep... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 384

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04