¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.27

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-27 558

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skincare.
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skincare cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
>> CORRECT!
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
>> CORRECT!
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
>> Actually, I think these kinds of consciousness made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
>> That's why there's a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skin care.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
>> One of the reason is that they want to look handsome for the person they interested in. 
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
>> Many people said that, when their skin is in good condition, they can become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
>> Similarly, nowadays, there are other reasons why many men take care of their skin, because a good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skin care cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
>> As we know, skin care costs an arm and a leg whenever you go to a dermatologist.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.
>> Typically, people who have jobs where they need to meet many people get a lot of skin care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134661 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 0
134660 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 450
134659 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 703
134658 How can part-time jobs during high school or college provide... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 614
134657 When you are watching a movie in a cinema, do you also enjoy... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1047
134656 Trying something new ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 909
134655 DIRECTIONS: Please make sentences using the following words: ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 4
134654 Is firefighting a well-paid job in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 606
134653 homework 2024-02-14 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1
134652 How does spending time at the beach contribute to your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 735
134651 Should adults with jobs still live with their parents but pay... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 2
134650 What are the major events you have with your family/ friends/... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1
134649 The best thing in Japan ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 596
134648 When you travel what do you prioritize? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-14 1
134647 When can you say, ¡°It¡¯s a crime to do nothing¡±? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 520
134646 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 669
134645 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 328
134644 Do you like camping? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 653
134643 I miss you a lot!! ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 3
134642 homework 02.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 537

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04