¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.27

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-27 250

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skincare.
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skincare cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
>> CORRECT!
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
>> CORRECT!
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
>> Actually, I think these kinds of consciousness made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
>> That's why there's a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skin care.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
>> One of the reason is that they want to look handsome for the person they interested in. 
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
>> Many people said that, when their skin is in good condition, they can become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
>> Similarly, nowadays, there are other reasons why many men take care of their skin, because a good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skin care cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
>> As we know, skin care costs an arm and a leg whenever you go to a dermatologist.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.
>> Typically, people who have jobs where they need to meet many people get a lot of skin care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137612 homework 06.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 185
137611 What do you think is the best pet in the world? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 278
137610 2024.06.03 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 190
137609 Someone who commit crimes for some good cause should also be... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 270
137608 The Episode About My Jaywalking ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 208
137607 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 276
137606 Are you afraid of going on scary amusement park rides? Do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 298
137605 Do any flowers have a special meaning in your country? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 0
137604 euphoric ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 1
137603 HOMEWORK FOR 06.04.2024 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 4
137602 trust ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 2
137601 Do you prefer cooking at home or eating out? why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 1
137600 If tasked with repurposing plastic bags into a new product, what... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 2
137599 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 311
137598 Do you think being punctual is important? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 294
137597 What was the last great news you\'ve heard on TV or the... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 290
137596 What is the best age to be and why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 316
137595 If someone were to visit your hometown for a day, what itinerary... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 294
137594 Are there any plants that people think bring bad luck in your... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 356
137593 Writing task: Use the following words in sentences: 1. suggested... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-04 227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04