¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-05-27 709

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire! 
Thanks for the effort and time you spent writing this composition. Your ideas were organized well and the flow is good. Please take note of minor punctuation and article corrections. Anyway, keep up the good work and see you tomorrow! 
~~Teacher Kate 
I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
>>CORRECT!
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
>>Sometimes the anger can create a better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
>>CORRECT!
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
>>CORRECT!
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
>>However, if his anger contains the point of the argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
>>CORRECT!
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
>>CORRECT!
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
>>After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solution comes out.
>>OR: After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes they come up with a good solution.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
>>I don¡¯t prefer this approach but I agree that this is effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>OR: Above all, being angry sometimes helps with your mental health. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130560 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 0
130559 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 899
130558 What I liked her. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 988
130557 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 475
130556 When can \"helping\" become a bad thing? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 892
130555 What fantasy story or movie do you like? Share the plot of the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 694
130554 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 962
130553 Favorite food ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 5
130552 Answer in full sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 483
130551 Have you ever tried TikTok? What do you know about it? Share... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130550 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \" The greatest... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130549 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 522
130548 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 0
130547 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 505
130546 What is one thing that you changed your mind about? Why did you... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 848
130545 What are the things you want to improve on in class? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 1
130544 Beth~ ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 4
130543 today lesson.. ¼­*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 2
130542 Do you believe that we should still help someone even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 997
130541 hat are you grateful for today? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-28 583

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04