¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-05-27 580

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire! 
Thanks for the effort and time you spent writing this composition. Your ideas were organized well and the flow is good. Please take note of minor punctuation and article corrections. Anyway, keep up the good work and see you tomorrow! 
~~Teacher Kate 
I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
>>CORRECT!
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
>>Sometimes the anger can create a better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
>>CORRECT!
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
>>CORRECT!
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
>>However, if his anger contains the point of the argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
>>CORRECT!
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
>>CORRECT!
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
>>After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solution comes out.
>>OR: After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes they come up with a good solution.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
>>I don¡¯t prefer this approach but I agree that this is effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>OR: Above all, being angry sometimes helps with your mental health. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132743 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-26 1
132742 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-26 1
132741 A Pet I Would Like to Have ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 2
132740 A Visit to the Park ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1
132739 Ideal fitness program ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 2
132738 Ordering food in English ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1
132737 If you could change one thing about your neighborhood, what... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 786
132736 What does your school like? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 379
132735 When are you most proud of your nationality? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132734 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132733 If you were to create your own fashion line, what would be the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 601
132732 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 412
132731 What different ways are there to cook potatoes? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 724
132730 Would you like dual nationality? What are the benefits? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132729 The last time I stayed over ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 621
132728 I go to karaoke when I\'m stressed out. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 2
132727 homework 11.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 605
132726 Would you rather clean your room or wash the dishes after dinner? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 546
132725 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132724 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 410

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04