¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-05-27 1293

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire! 
Thanks for the effort and time you spent writing this composition. Your ideas were organized well and the flow is good. Please take note of minor punctuation and article corrections. Anyway, keep up the good work and see you tomorrow! 
~~Teacher Kate 
I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
>>CORRECT!
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
>>Sometimes the anger can create a better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
>>CORRECT!
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
>>CORRECT!
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
>>However, if his anger contains the point of the argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
>>CORRECT!
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
>>CORRECT!
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
>>After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solution comes out.
>>OR: After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes they come up with a good solution.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
>>I don¡¯t prefer this approach but I agree that this is effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>OR: Above all, being angry sometimes helps with your mental health. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136326 Why do you think some Koreans do not like K-pop? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136325 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1496
136324 What kind of person do you want to avoid? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1108
136323 What\'s the most popular symbol you know? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1030
136322 Responding ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1217
136321 homework 04.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 646
136320 Answer the questions  Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 820
136319 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136318 How do you take care of your skin? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1236
136317 Homework Á¶*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1178
136316 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136315 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136314 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 3
136313 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 881
136312 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 769
136311 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1232
136310 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 984
136309 Mission statement of HYT salses ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 986
136308 Greeting as a new president of HYT sales ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1381
136307 Welcome to HYT sales department. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1289

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04