¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-05-27 242

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire! 
Thanks for the effort and time you spent writing this composition. Your ideas were organized well and the flow is good. Please take note of minor punctuation and article corrections. Anyway, keep up the good work and see you tomorrow! 
~~Teacher Kate 
I don¡¯t think that an anger is always bad.
>>CORRECT!
Sometimes the anger can create the better situation instead of creating conflict.
>>Sometimes the anger can create a better situation instead of creating conflict.
And this depends on how he (or she) expresses his (or her) anger.
>>CORRECT!
If his anger is about his only expression of emotion, it is hard to improve things for the better.
>>CORRECT!
However his anger contains the point of argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
>>However, if his anger contains the point of the argument, it can rather quickly improve the situation.
I sometimes experience this kind of situation.
>>CORRECT!
When we encounter a problem that can¡¯t be easily solved in a meeting, someone expresses his worries with anger.
>>CORRECT!
After that people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solutions comes out.
>>After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes a good solution comes out.
>>OR: After that, people start to focus on the issues to suggest solutions and sometimes they come up with a good solution.
I don¡¯t prefer to this approach but I agree that this effective in some cases.
>>I don¡¯t prefer this approach but I agree that this is effective in some cases.
Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often, it is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>Above all, being angry helps your mental health if this is not often. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
>>OR: Above all, being angry sometimes helps with your mental health. It is better to be angry than to endure it.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138033 2024.06.24 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 2
138032 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 317
138031 Our trait is predetermined before being born? À±* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 308
138030 HOMEWORK FOR 06.19.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you consider when... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 4
138029 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 285
138028 How do you stay motivated to achieve your goals? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 349
138027 People who I get along with best ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 4
138026 Among the places you have visited, which was your least... ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 287
138025 HOMEWORK FOR 06.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What are good activities... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 2
138024 Is mental health more important than physical health? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 2
138023 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 1
138022 Try to be a man of value ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 277
138021 Why is it necessary to advertise? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 260
138020 What are the disadvantages of having diverse options at a... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 368
138019 Do you think Korean meals are healthy? Why or why not? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-24 335
138018 Who else is better than Mr. Yun as a president? Explain your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 306
138017 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 1
138016 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct or not! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 328
138015 Are you a helpful person? Explain your answer. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 356
138014 First greeting for meeting ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-23 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04