¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-05-23 2132

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
First, because it is very cold.
Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
So they shouldn't go out as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jimmy!

Sorry there was an error when I uploaded your corrected homeowork. Anyway, here's the correct one. Please note all corrections and revisions given below. Have a good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                   What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?


I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
>> I think the worst month among the old Korean people is January or February.

First, because it is very cold.
>> First, it's very cold. 

Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
>> OR: Second, the road is slippery, which makes it difficult to walk. 

So they shouldn't go out as possible.
>> So they shouldn't go out as much as possible. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134526 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1524
134525 a bad day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 0
134524 Do you think festivals are important for counties? ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1444
134523 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1309
134522 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1
134521 What do you think is the worst kind of crime? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1086
134520 my weekends ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1288
134519 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1493
134518 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1464
134517 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1229
134516 Would you like to travel to other countries alone somday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1591
134515 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 901
134514 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 4
134513 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 241
134512 Different thought °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1836
134511 WRITING TASK: What was the most memorable concert you have been... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 9
134510 At what age does a child become an adult ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1857
134509 Describe your favorite place in detail. ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1754
134508 If you could change one thing about your current house ot make... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 1408
134507 qweqweq Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2024-02-06 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04