¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-05-23 2088

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
First, because it is very cold.
Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
So they shouldn't go out as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jimmy!

Sorry there was an error when I uploaded your corrected homeowork. Anyway, here's the correct one. Please note all corrections and revisions given below. Have a good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                   What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?


I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
>> I think the worst month among the old Korean people is January or February.

First, because it is very cold.
>> First, it's very cold. 

Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
>> OR: Second, the road is slippery, which makes it difficult to walk. 

So they shouldn't go out as possible.
>> So they shouldn't go out as much as possible. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134816 What do you think of people who don\'t go to the dentist ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1061
134815 Write about something you regret having done ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 0
134814 If you were going to implement an ordinance, what would it be? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1417
134813 How long should we know before we get married? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-20 1034
134812 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1042
134811 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1030
134810 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2
134809 People you can always count on ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 944
134808 What advantage do you believe entry-level applicants have when... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1116
134807 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1118
134806 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1404
134805 homework 02.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 741
134804 How have your interests changed as the eyars went by? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 789
134803 How can we gind the owner ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134802 I like my family À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1892
134801 We always have to be careful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134800 The song can comfort people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134799 I don\'t know much about tradition....;) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1569
134798 I\'d like to live on my own when I\'m about 25. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1389
134797 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04