¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-05-23 1357

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
First, because it is very cold.
Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
So they shouldn't go out as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jimmy!

Sorry there was an error when I uploaded your corrected homeowork. Anyway, here's the correct one. Please note all corrections and revisions given below. Have a good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                   What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?


I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
>> I think the worst month among the old Korean people is January or February.

First, because it is very cold.
>> First, it's very cold. 

Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
>> OR: Second, the road is slippery, which makes it difficult to walk. 

So they shouldn't go out as possible.
>> So they shouldn't go out as much as possible. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135376 My opinion that governments should encourage pubilc trasportation ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 1174
135375 Page.17 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 5
135374 In your opinion, what would schools be like in the future? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 7
135373 Write about the longest bridge in world and what do you think... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 1
135372 Dolharubang ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 1
135371 Nowadays suppressing things. ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 5
135370 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 866
135369 What are the best and worst things about being a student? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-09 1117
135368 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-09 934
135367 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 1052
135366 Why do other people find it hard to apologize and admit their... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 1239
135365 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 2
135364 homework 03.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 1172
135363 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 1352
135362 What is the importance of kindness in everyday life? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 2
135361 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 942
135360 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 794
135359 Establishments ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 1112
135358 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 929
135357 My favrite spring moment. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-08 919

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04