¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-05-23 751

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
First, because it is very cold.
Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
So they shouldn't go out as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jimmy!

Sorry there was an error when I uploaded your corrected homeowork. Anyway, here's the correct one. Please note all corrections and revisions given below. Have a good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                   What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?


I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
>> I think the worst month among the old Korean people is January or February.

First, because it is very cold.
>> First, it's very cold. 

Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
>> OR: Second, the road is slippery, which makes it difficult to walk. 

So they shouldn't go out as possible.
>> So they shouldn't go out as much as possible. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136049 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 230
136048 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 0
136047 cheer up ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2
136046 What do you enjoy most about school and why? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 2
136045 What do you do in the minutes before you sleep? Does it help you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 167
136044 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 3
136043 What have you lost while traveling? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 235
136042 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 254
136041 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 157
136040 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 234
136039 WRITING TASK: What can you do for people who have sleeping... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 7
136038 What advice would you give someone considering getting a pet for... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 4
136037 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 413
136036 What are your thoughts on the safety issues in your city? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 330
136035 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 237
136034 Vocabulary ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 542
136033 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 504
136032 Which skills do you think you need to be an excellent table... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 177
136031 Best piece of advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 138
136030 Is gender discrimination an issue in Korea? Why do you think so? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-02 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04