¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-05-23 713

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
First, because it is very cold.
Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
So they shouldn't go out as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Jimmy!

Sorry there was an error when I uploaded your corrected homeowork. Anyway, here's the correct one. Please note all corrections and revisions given below. Have a good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                   What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean people? Why?


I think a worst month is January or February among the old Korean people.
>> I think the worst month among the old Korean people is January or February.

First, because it is very cold.
>> First, it's very cold. 

Second, the road is slippery, so it is hard to walk.
>> OR: Second, the road is slippery, which makes it difficult to walk. 

So they shouldn't go out as possible.
>> So they shouldn't go out as much as possible. 


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136524 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 205
136523 2024.04.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 267
136522 HOMEWORK FOR 04.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 3
136521 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 161
136520 If I leared playing basketball.. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 269
136519 Do many young people in your country care about eating healthy? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 265
136518 Write 5 sentences that would describe your personality. ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 13
136517 In what ways do you think technology has influenced family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136516 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 174
136515 pitiful dogs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 202
136514 What qualities do you think make someone a good firefighter, and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 240
136513 Fraud ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 318
136512 17.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136511 What are some benefits of switching to electric cars compared to... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 229
136510 Describe a person you know who is kind ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136509 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 118
136508 If you live far away from some members of your family, how do... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 194
136507 homework 04.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 391
136506 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 179
136505 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04