¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*À±
2024-05-23 1221

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? Why or why not?

I think most things are good, but the sleeping cycle is not good.

I often sleep after work in the evening for an hour.

It makes me sleep at dawn.

Nowadays, I am trying not to sleep in the evening.

But it is not easy for me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Rachel!

I'm sending you back your corrected homework. Thanks as always for uploading it. Anyway, please take a look at the revisions made, such as alternative expressions or vocabulary. Speak to you in a bit! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                    Do you think you have a healthy lifestyle? Why or why not?


I think most things are good, but the sleeping cycle is not good.
>> I think my lifestyle is healthy for the most part, but my sleeping habit needs to be improved. 

I often sleep after work in the evening for an hour.
>> OR: I regularly take a nap in the evening for an hour.

It makes me sleep at dawn.
>> However, doing this makes me wake up at dawn. 

Nowadays, I am trying not to sleep in the evening.
>> OR: That's why I'm trying not to take naps after coming home from work. 

But it is not easy for me.
>> OR: But this habit is hard to break. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140110 Home work 0927 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 559
140109 Homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 480
140108 increasing retirement age. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 354
140107 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 686
140106 Do you think people help each other because it makes them feel... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 423
140105 What are the most common organizations in your country and what... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-27 424
140104 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 0
140103 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 2
140102 Should there be any zoos in the world? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 377
140101 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 2
140100 networks important for getting jobs ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 376
140099 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 2
140098 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 428
140097 Topic: Does your country have a good education system? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 421
140096 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 467
140095 How is a mistake different from an error? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 388
140094 If you had to teach a class for a day, what would you teach and... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 498
140093 september.25 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 336
140092 Would you rather drive your car or use public transportation?... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 406
140091 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-26 476

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04