¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.21

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-21 1526

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the reasons why people hoard?

I think the reason why some people are hoarding is to make money easily.
I think why the hoarding happen is simple.
This is because of supply and demand.
So hoarding is one of the social problems that since a long time.
People who are hoarding can easily make a lot of money through hoarding.
But these days, many people are more angry compare to a few years ago about hoarding.
This is because they sell a ridiculous price.
Examples, there are idol concert tickets, limited goods, and more.
They even use the macro applications.
And we can't win the computer applications with human hands.
So many companies try to prevent this kinds of bad people.
However, it's not easy to stop their acting.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the reasons why people hoard?


I think the reason why some people are hoarding is to make money easily.
>> CORRECT!
I think why hoarding happen is simple.
>> I think the reason why the hoarding happens is simple.
This is because of supply and demand.
>> CORRECT!
So hoarding is one of the social problems that since a long time.
>> So hoarding is one of the social problems ever since.
People who are hoarding can easily make a lot of money through hoarding.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Hoarders can easily make a lot of money through hoarding.
But these days, many people are more angry compare to a few years ago about hoarding.
>> But these days, many people are angrier compared to a few years ago about hoarding.
This is because they sell a ridiculous price.
>> This is because they sell items in a ridiculous price.
Examples, there are idol concert tickets, limited goods, and more.
>> CORRECT!
They even use the macro applications.
>> CORRECT!
And we can't win the computer applications with human hands.
>> CORRECT!
So many companies try to prevent this kinds of bad people.
>> So many companies try to prevent these kinds of bad people.
However, it's not easy to stop their acting.
>> However, it's not easy to stop the way they act.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139826 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139825 What chores are your responsibility? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3
139824 What do you think of books being made into movies? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139823 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1324
139822 The best festival in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1162
139821 Is it always good to participate in contest or competitions? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1172
139820 What do you like the most about your family? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1237
139819 Feeling sad ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1495
139818 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139817 Homework : What is the most valuable item you\'ve ever spent... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1077
139816 A recent activity that I enjoyed ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1379
139815 Do you want to travel to outer space? Why, or why not? ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1262
139814 five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139813 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139812 The things I want to tell you ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1269
139811 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1101
139810 What¡¯s the most unusual drink you¡¯ve ever tried, and did you... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1281
139809 HOMEWORK FOR 09.09.2024 WRITING TASK: Were there any particular... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 4
139808 What is your favorite room in your house? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 0
139807 What do you think is the easiest job in the world? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04