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Homework 8

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-16 1383

회원님의 영작문



Hi Gemma
I keep check my writings but it is not easy to find my mistakes.
Well someday I could write perfect as like you!
Thank you for your advice!
See you :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Diego! How's everything going? It's raining cats and dogs here and it's driving me up the wall. I'm supposed to meet my friends after work but I told them to come over instead. So, they will visit me and we'll have a pizza party! See you tomorrow! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. 
This problem has become more common among young people these days. 
Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

 There are many kinds of junk foods, Mcdonalds, quick noodles, snacks, soda drinks and etc. 
>>>  There are many kinds of junk food such as McDonalds, instant noodles, snacks, soda drinks and many more. 
Doctors warn about eating these foods.
>>> Doctors warn us about eating junk foods.

Constantly eating junk foods can cause adult disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. >>> Constantly eating junk food can cause adult's diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. 
These illnesses are all related to unhealthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Healthy lifestyles can prevent these problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 In my experience, junk food made my mood bad.
>>>  In my experience, junk food makes me in bad mood. 
 When I ate junk foods, in that moment, I felt pleasure, however it didn't last long.
>>> Whenever I eat junk food, it's a pleasure that doesn't last long.  
I felt heavy stomach and uncomfotable.
>>> I felt an upset stomach which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
Sometimes I felt blue for a few hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The instant high pleasure suddenly perished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Also, my taste had been changed slowly.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I kept craved exciting tastes. 
>>>  I kept craving for pleasurable taste. 
Salty, sweet and spicy foods made me dull about normal foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My tongue wasn't functioning well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Soon, I couldn't feel the pleasure I used to have, when I consume foods. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 About the superficial difference, my face color was bad.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People around me worried about my health. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
At that time I was so skinny. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My body shape was terrible.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once I became skinny, I had not enough energy and desire for activities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This ruined my lifestyle.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Young people are not free from these problems. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are many young people who don't have enough money. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then they have to consume junk foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This make young people sick. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They gain too much weight or lost weight. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both of the situation are bad for healthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I cannot definetely say, junk food is the main reason for unhealth lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, I can surely say junk food is related to unhealthy lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
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135633 HOMEWORK: When is the best day to take a day off? Why? 이*은 완료 2024-03-19 1332
135632 homework 손*희 완료 2024-03-19 1301
135631 HW 나*진 완료 2024-03-19 1407
135630 Should parents help their children plan their future? 권*임 완료 2024-03-19 3
135629 HOMEWORK FOR 03.19.2024 WRITING TASK: What was your most... 임*지 완료 2024-03-19 2
135628 What questions don’t you mind people asking you? 권*지 완료 2024-03-19 3
135627 Homework 3/19 고*진 완료 2024-03-19 4
135626 Paying for some advice 양*연 완료 2024-03-19 1274
135625 HOMEWORK - What is a busy day like for you? How do you handle it? 이*은 완료 2024-03-19 1126
135624 Body parts / 신체부위 김*진 완료 2024-03-19 2
135623 homework 임*민 완료 2024-03-19 1336
135622 homework - what makes a person feel unsuessful? 이*은 완료 2024-03-19 1408
135621 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-03-18 0
135620 homework 유*린 완료 2024-03-18 594
135619 What do you think of people comparing themselves to others? 이*윤 완료 2024-03-18 1053
135618 What health problems do you worry about most? 김*순 완료 2024-03-18 768
135617 What does a busy day look like? How do you handle it? 임*호 완료 2024-03-18 0
135616 Negotiation 이*규 완료 2024-03-18 1341
135615 question and homework 이*주 완료 2024-03-18 1490

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