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서비스 입니다.

Homework 8

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-16 1345

회원님의 영작문



Hi Gemma
I keep check my writings but it is not easy to find my mistakes.
Well someday I could write perfect as like you!
Thank you for your advice!
See you :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Diego! How's everything going? It's raining cats and dogs here and it's driving me up the wall. I'm supposed to meet my friends after work but I told them to come over instead. So, they will visit me and we'll have a pizza party! See you tomorrow! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. 
This problem has become more common among young people these days. 
Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

 There are many kinds of junk foods, Mcdonalds, quick noodles, snacks, soda drinks and etc. 
>>>  There are many kinds of junk food such as McDonalds, instant noodles, snacks, soda drinks and many more. 
Doctors warn about eating these foods.
>>> Doctors warn us about eating junk foods.

Constantly eating junk foods can cause adult disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. >>> Constantly eating junk food can cause adult's diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. 
These illnesses are all related to unhealthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Healthy lifestyles can prevent these problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 In my experience, junk food made my mood bad.
>>>  In my experience, junk food makes me in bad mood. 
 When I ate junk foods, in that moment, I felt pleasure, however it didn't last long.
>>> Whenever I eat junk food, it's a pleasure that doesn't last long.  
I felt heavy stomach and uncomfotable.
>>> I felt an upset stomach which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
Sometimes I felt blue for a few hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The instant high pleasure suddenly perished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Also, my taste had been changed slowly.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I kept craved exciting tastes. 
>>>  I kept craving for pleasurable taste. 
Salty, sweet and spicy foods made me dull about normal foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My tongue wasn't functioning well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Soon, I couldn't feel the pleasure I used to have, when I consume foods. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 About the superficial difference, my face color was bad.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People around me worried about my health. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
At that time I was so skinny. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My body shape was terrible.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once I became skinny, I had not enough energy and desire for activities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This ruined my lifestyle.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Young people are not free from these problems. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are many young people who don't have enough money. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then they have to consume junk foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This make young people sick. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They gain too much weight or lost weight. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both of the situation are bad for healthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I cannot definetely say, junk food is the main reason for unhealth lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, I can surely say junk food is related to unhealthy lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
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135961 Why is it important to reflect on our experiences? 에*미 완료 2024-03-28 0
135960 homework 김*현 완료 2024-03-28 1057
135959 Would you rather be rich or happy? 송*진 완료 2024-03-28 1
135958 Do you wish it rain more or rain less where you live? Why? 박*은 완료 2024-03-28 1562
135957 what do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? 박*진 완료 2024-03-28 1044
135956 Which car brand/model is becoming popular among your peers? What... 김*규 완료 2024-03-28 2
135955 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-03-28 908
135954 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-03-28 1395
135953 Why do you think some people drink too much? 김*아 완료 2024-03-28 1107
135952 homework 이*수 완료 2024-03-28 780
135951 HOMEWORK 하*지 완료 2024-03-28 1041
135950 Where I would like to stay during retirement 김*민 완료 2024-03-28 1388
135949 Is it necessary to have a goal in life? 오*현 완료 2024-03-28 1416
135948 Do you think Mondays are the best or worst day of the week? Why? 황*은 완료 2024-03-28 1225
135947 HW 나*진 완료 2024-03-28 1527
135946 My advice about life to elementary students 김*민 완료 2024-03-28 1614

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