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서비스 입니다.

Homework 8

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-16 305

회원님의 영작문



Hi Gemma
I keep check my writings but it is not easy to find my mistakes.
Well someday I could write perfect as like you!
Thank you for your advice!
See you :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Diego! How's everything going? It's raining cats and dogs here and it's driving me up the wall. I'm supposed to meet my friends after work but I told them to come over instead. So, they will visit me and we'll have a pizza party! See you tomorrow! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. 
This problem has become more common among young people these days. 
Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

 There are many kinds of junk foods, Mcdonalds, quick noodles, snacks, soda drinks and etc. 
>>>  There are many kinds of junk food such as McDonalds, instant noodles, snacks, soda drinks and many more. 
Doctors warn about eating these foods.
>>> Doctors warn us about eating junk foods.

Constantly eating junk foods can cause adult disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. >>> Constantly eating junk food can cause adult's diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. 
These illnesses are all related to unhealthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Healthy lifestyles can prevent these problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 In my experience, junk food made my mood bad.
>>>  In my experience, junk food makes me in bad mood. 
 When I ate junk foods, in that moment, I felt pleasure, however it didn't last long.
>>> Whenever I eat junk food, it's a pleasure that doesn't last long.  
I felt heavy stomach and uncomfotable.
>>> I felt an upset stomach which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
Sometimes I felt blue for a few hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The instant high pleasure suddenly perished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Also, my taste had been changed slowly.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I kept craved exciting tastes. 
>>>  I kept craving for pleasurable taste. 
Salty, sweet and spicy foods made me dull about normal foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My tongue wasn't functioning well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Soon, I couldn't feel the pleasure I used to have, when I consume foods. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 About the superficial difference, my face color was bad.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People around me worried about my health. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
At that time I was so skinny. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My body shape was terrible.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once I became skinny, I had not enough energy and desire for activities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This ruined my lifestyle.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Young people are not free from these problems. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are many young people who don't have enough money. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then they have to consume junk foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This make young people sick. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They gain too much weight or lost weight. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both of the situation are bad for healthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I cannot definetely say, junk food is the main reason for unhealth lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, I can surely say junk food is related to unhealthy lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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136243 homework 이*수 완료 2024-04-09 306
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136241 It is better to stay home on your day off or go somewhere? 윤*진 완료 2024-04-09 3
136240 What do you mostly look forward to when you enter a company? Why? 송*하 완료 2024-04-09 190
136239 How can clothes help us express our culture and identity? 박*호 완료 2024-04-09 211
136238 My parent\'s advice 양*연 완료 2024-04-09 217
136237 What makes a bad cafe? 김*지 완료 2024-04-09 1
136236 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-04-09 186
136235 How important is it to encourage children to take up hobbies? 오*소 완료 2024-04-09 0
136234 About long average working hour 정*훈 완료 2024-04-09 258
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136232 homework 박*연 완료 2024-04-09 284
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. 이*은 완료 2024-04-09 192
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... 김*순 완료 2024-04-09 264
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? 이*은 완료 2024-04-08 205
136228 homework 유*린 완료 2024-04-08 242
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. 임*호 완료 2024-04-08 1

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