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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework 8

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-16 266

회원님의 영작문



Hi Gemma
I keep check my writings but it is not easy to find my mistakes.
Well someday I could write perfect as like you!
Thank you for your advice!
See you :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Diego! How's everything going? It's raining cats and dogs here and it's driving me up the wall. I'm supposed to meet my friends after work but I told them to come over instead. So, they will visit me and we'll have a pizza party! See you tomorrow! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. 
This problem has become more common among young people these days. 
Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

 There are many kinds of junk foods, Mcdonalds, quick noodles, snacks, soda drinks and etc. 
>>>  There are many kinds of junk food such as McDonalds, instant noodles, snacks, soda drinks and many more. 
Doctors warn about eating these foods.
>>> Doctors warn us about eating junk foods.

Constantly eating junk foods can cause adult disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. >>> Constantly eating junk food can cause adult's diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. 
These illnesses are all related to unhealthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Healthy lifestyles can prevent these problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 In my experience, junk food made my mood bad.
>>>  In my experience, junk food makes me in bad mood. 
 When I ate junk foods, in that moment, I felt pleasure, however it didn't last long.
>>> Whenever I eat junk food, it's a pleasure that doesn't last long.  
I felt heavy stomach and uncomfotable.
>>> I felt an upset stomach which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
Sometimes I felt blue for a few hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The instant high pleasure suddenly perished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Also, my taste had been changed slowly.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I kept craved exciting tastes. 
>>>  I kept craving for pleasurable taste. 
Salty, sweet and spicy foods made me dull about normal foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My tongue wasn't functioning well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Soon, I couldn't feel the pleasure I used to have, when I consume foods. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 About the superficial difference, my face color was bad.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People around me worried about my health. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
At that time I was so skinny. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My body shape was terrible.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once I became skinny, I had not enough energy and desire for activities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This ruined my lifestyle.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Young people are not free from these problems. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are many young people who don't have enough money. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then they have to consume junk foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This make young people sick. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They gain too much weight or lost weight. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both of the situation are bad for healthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I cannot definetely say, junk food is the main reason for unhealth lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, I can surely say junk food is related to unhealthy lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136564 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-19 203
136563 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-04-19 495
136562 First homework essay. 송*훈 완료 2024-04-19 240
136561 Whats your favorite subject? Why/ 최*한 완료 2024-04-19 155
136560 what do you want to change in your life? 김*혜 완료 2024-04-19 2
136559 Make a sentence using the following words: 차*진 완료 2024-04-19 181
136558 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-04-19 2
136557 How do you prioritize spending quality time with your family... 윤*진 완료 2024-04-19 1
136556 HOMEWORK FOR 04.19.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you live life to... 임*지 완료 2024-04-19 5
136555 advance 권*희 완료 2024-04-19 271
136554 Every misfortune is a blessing in disguise 양*연 완료 2024-04-19 257
136553 What kind of people are less likely to suffer from stress or... 오*소 완료 2024-04-19 0
136552 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-04-19 492
136551 If you could change anything about your present home, what would... 김*욱 완료 2024-04-19 244
136550 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-04-18 177
136549 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-04-18 1
136548 Operating cafe 임*진 완료 2024-04-18 236
136547 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-04-18 1
136546 What do you think is the best martial art? Why? 차*혁 완료 2024-04-18 103
136545 What career opportunities are there for the younger generation... 김*환 완료 2024-04-18 304

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