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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework 8

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-16 202

회원님의 영작문



Hi Gemma
I keep check my writings but it is not easy to find my mistakes.
Well someday I could write perfect as like you!
Thank you for your advice!
See you :)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Diego! How's everything going? It's raining cats and dogs here and it's driving me up the wall. I'm supposed to meet my friends after work but I told them to come over instead. So, they will visit me and we'll have a pizza party! See you tomorrow! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. 
This problem has become more common among young people these days. 
Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

 There are many kinds of junk foods, Mcdonalds, quick noodles, snacks, soda drinks and etc. 
>>>  There are many kinds of junk food such as McDonalds, instant noodles, snacks, soda drinks and many more. 
Doctors warn about eating these foods.
>>> Doctors warn us about eating junk foods.

Constantly eating junk foods can cause adult disease, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. >>> Constantly eating junk food can cause adult's diseases like diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure. 
These illnesses are all related to unhealthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Healthy lifestyles can prevent these problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 In my experience, junk food made my mood bad.
>>>  In my experience, junk food makes me in bad mood. 
 When I ate junk foods, in that moment, I felt pleasure, however it didn't last long.
>>> Whenever I eat junk food, it's a pleasure that doesn't last long.  
I felt heavy stomach and uncomfotable.
>>> I felt an upset stomach which makes me feel uncomfortable. 
Sometimes I felt blue for a few hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The instant high pleasure suddenly perished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Also, my taste had been changed slowly.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 I kept craved exciting tastes. 
>>>  I kept craving for pleasurable taste. 
Salty, sweet and spicy foods made me dull about normal foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My tongue wasn't functioning well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Soon, I couldn't feel the pleasure I used to have, when I consume foods. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 About the superficial difference, my face color was bad.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People around me worried about my health. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
At that time I was so skinny. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
My body shape was terrible.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once I became skinny, I had not enough energy and desire for activities. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This ruined my lifestyle.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Young people are not free from these problems. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are many young people who don't have enough money. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then they have to consume junk foods.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
This make young people sick. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They gain too much weight or lost weight. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both of the situation are bad for healthy lifestyles. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
I cannot definetely say, junk food is the main reason for unhealth lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, I can surely say junk food is related to unhealthy lifestyles.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
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137319 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-05-21 176
137318 2024-05-20 남*례 완료 2024-05-21 131
137317 Expected questions 나*진 완료 2024-05-21 129
137316 talent 민*정 완료 2024-05-21 0
137315 homework 이*수 완료 2024-05-21 243
137314 Colors associated with the Korean Lunar New Year 김*민 완료 2024-05-21 320
137313 What would you change about your morning routine ? 박*호 완료 2024-05-21 325
137312 Homework: Using correctly \"the\", \"a\", \"an\", or \"x(zero... 김*민 완료 2024-05-21 226
137311 How many words with the short vowel sound [uh] can you put... 박*연 완료 2024-05-21 203
137310 HOMEWORK FOR 05.21.2024 WRITING TASK: How can someone initiate a... 임*지 완료 2024-05-21 5
137309 HW 김*현 완료 2024-05-21 2
137308 Spend time with people of similar level of education 양*연 완료 2024-05-21 198
137307 a 김*욱 완료 2024-05-21 234
137306 What is the meaning of life for you? 황*은 완료 2024-05-21 193
137305 homework 박*연 완료 2024-05-21 248
137304 HW 양*윤 완료 2024-05-21 265
137303 HomeworK 장*혁 완료 2024-05-20 280
137302 Lessons focused on pronunciation 이*규 완료 2024-05-20 221
137301 howework 한*연 완료 2024-05-20 297

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