¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-05-15 564

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course, I love myself.
Self-esteem is important for living.
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
It makes people encouraging.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
You would be able to see the differences in the way you write each time.
Learn from your mistakes and become better in expressing yourself.
Let's keep this going.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Of course, I love myself.
>> Correct
Self-esteem is important for living.
>> Correct
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
>> It's influenced by parents during childhood and by other people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
>> It has a positive impact. 
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
>> Correct
It makes people encouraging.
>> It makes people feel motivated. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134884 Fund and trust ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 452
134883 homework 02.21 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 230
134882 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 189
134881 Do you think you can be a role model? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134880 What do you want to buy for your family and friends? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134879 When I was a child ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 218
134878 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 541
134877 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 2
134876 I really want to see that machine. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 357
134875 Why is art important? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 229
134874 If you had the power to alter one major historical event, what... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134873 hurricane ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 0
134872 My preference of travel style ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 395
134871 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 147
134870 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 170
134869 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 230
134868 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 613
134867 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 389
134866 What kind of animal would you like to have as a pet? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 364
134865 People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-21 177

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04