무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework 7

작성자: 송*훈
2024-05-14 286

회원님의 영작문



Thank you for inspiring my motivation Gemma.
I wish we can be always positive!
Life is short and time fly like an arrow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there DIEGO! ^^ Thank you for answering your essay! Keep writing! I know this goal wasn’t easy. How you manage to set your time towards your writing goals to achieve it truly speaks to your intelligence, tenacity, and perseverance. I’m lucky to have you as my student. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
 A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. 
What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

According to the survey, fifty millions of people live in South Korea.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Among fifty millions of people, almost 25% of people live in Seoul.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Seoul is now a 'mega' city including culture, jobs, services and infrastructure. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Seoul's political decision or cultural choice can influence whole cities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
It becomes standards of living and everyone wants to become one of trends. 
>>> It becomes the standard of living and everyone wants to be in that trend. 
However, other cities and rural areas have financial limits to follow.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 While Seoul becomes mega city, rural areas have been suffering for decades. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They lost industries, young workers and infrastructures. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Rural areas lost energy sources for maintaining themselves.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The rural government's tax income is also decreasing while they need to spend their money to maintain themselves.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The place which flourished now becomes ruins causing serious problems. 
>>> The place which used to be flourished are now become ruins causing serious problems. 
Crimes and accidents occur in rural areas.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Pupulation decrease becomes faster.
>>> The population is rapidly decreasing. 
 The cities are also suffering for too many people.
>>>  The cities are also suffering for being crowded.
 The house price increases and people starting to become poor. 
>>> The house price is skyrocketing and people started to become less fortunate.
Crimes related to living increases. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The more people gather, the more tax needed.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Residents live in cities feel much more of unhappiness and also leads to social problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The way to deal with this population concentration in cities, administrative forces are required.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Government have to separate the functions of Seoul and cities.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Industries, major companies and state institution should be moved. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
That can stimulate the local economy and relieve the city's pressure. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However this is difficult to be done.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The most voters will not move their cities.
>>> Most voters would not choose to leave from the city.
 They commonly will stay in city and refuse to leave.
>>>  They will mostly stay in the city and refuse to move.

The parties will not take risks for this try.
 >>> The parties will not take a risk to try this.
They have to risk their political careers for the change.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136087 I\'m anxious because I\'m not perfect. 윤*혜 완료 2024-04-03 360
136086 2024.04.03 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-04-03 1
136085 homework 김*현 완료 2024-04-03 255
136084 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is the... 앨* 완료 2024-04-03 1
136083 Do you think that governments should encourage public transport... 박*진 완료 2024-04-03 330
136082 If you could choose five smells around you all the time, what... 박*은 완료 2024-04-03 295
136081 Do you have any favorite springtime activities from your... 김*아 완료 2024-04-03 410
136080 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-04-03 387
136079 Do you like the culture of the giving money gift during holidays? 권*희 완료 2024-04-03 236
136078 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-04-03 173
136077 hard time 민*정 완료 2024-04-03 1
136076 homework 이*수 완료 2024-04-03 355
136075 How do you know if you have a healthy work-life balance? 김*현 완료 2024-04-03 5
136074 WRITING TASK: What do you want to cook today? Why? 임*지 완료 2024-04-03 6
136073 My feeling when I advise to other people 최*환 완료 2024-04-03 198
136072 HW 나*진 완료 2024-04-03 455
136071 How do you keep in touch with your family even when you\'re busy... 오*솜 완료 2024-04-03 1
136070 Do you enjoy your birthdays? 오*소 완료 2024-04-03 7
136069 What qualities does a good basketball player need? 박*호 완료 2024-04-03 175
136068 Community center 양*연 완료 2024-04-03 272

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]