¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The possible causes for having a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-05-14 565

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think two things cause people to have a vice.

First one is curiosity.
I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.

Second is lackadaicial attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.
But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. I feel sad after heard these news.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Min. Great job! I was impressed that you used the word lackadaisical. It is suitable in your sentence. ^^ Thank you for your hard work and efforts. 
-Khai
I think two things cause people to have a vice.

>> I think two things cause people to have vices.

First one is curiosity.

>> The first one is curiosity. 

I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
>> I heard that some teenagers start smoking or drinking earlier than the legal age out of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.
>> I think curiosity causes adults to start smoking, drinking, and especially taking drugs
Second is lackadaicial attitude.
>> The second is a lackadaisical attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.

>> I think that's why some people drive their cars after being drunk.

But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
>> This lackadaisical attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
>> So the government is imposing harsher punishment on drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
>> Also, when government officials are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment gets stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. 
>> However, we still hear the news that people seriously get hurt or die because of drunk drivers.
I feel sad after heard these news.

>> I feel sad whenever I hear this news.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140076 Answer homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 364
140075 women recruting ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 4
140074 avoid recruting women ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 3
140073 What\'s the most crowded place you\'ve ever been to? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 522
140072 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 440
140071 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140070 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 3
140069 Age ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 496
140068 betray ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 1
140067 King sejong is genius ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 703
140066 HOMEWORK FOR 09.20.2024 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 4
140065 What is your favorite drink? Do you prefer it hot or cold? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 4
140064 Should parents monitor what websites their children are... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 2
140063 What\'s the most difficult decision you have made? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 410
140062 In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 502
140061 Tell me about your middle school and high school educational... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 692
140060 Homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 665
140059 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 641
140058 Someone once said: \"Anger is one letter short of danger.\" Do... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0
140057 Have you been in a situation where you have to choose between... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04