¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The possible causes for having a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-05-14 777

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think two things cause people to have a vice.

First one is curiosity.
I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.

Second is lackadaicial attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.
But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. I feel sad after heard these news.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Min. Great job! I was impressed that you used the word lackadaisical. It is suitable in your sentence. ^^ Thank you for your hard work and efforts. 
-Khai
I think two things cause people to have a vice.

>> I think two things cause people to have vices.

First one is curiosity.

>> The first one is curiosity. 

I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
>> I heard that some teenagers start smoking or drinking earlier than the legal age out of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.
>> I think curiosity causes adults to start smoking, drinking, and especially taking drugs
Second is lackadaicial attitude.
>> The second is a lackadaisical attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.

>> I think that's why some people drive their cars after being drunk.

But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
>> This lackadaisical attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
>> So the government is imposing harsher punishment on drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
>> Also, when government officials are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment gets stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. 
>> However, we still hear the news that people seriously get hurt or die because of drunk drivers.
I feel sad after heard these news.

>> I feel sad whenever I hear this news.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137141 homework 05.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 657
137140 How often do you cry? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 669
137139 What¡¯s the difference between over-the-counter medicine and... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1341
137138 Tell me about a time in the past at work where you had to deal... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 976
137137 How was your most recent trip? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1171
137136 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 758
137135 On balance, do you think that religions have made the world a... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1581
137134 a noisy neighbor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137133 a pain in the neck ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137132 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 0
137131 2024.05.13 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137130 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 808
137129 Is time manament important? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 994
137128 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 773
137127 2024.05.10 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1108
137126 Page.12 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137125 homework Á¶*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137124 Have you ever seen a piece of art that affected you strongly?... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1
137123 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 1342
137122 When do you think you¡¯ll stop learning? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-13 969

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04