¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The possible causes for having a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-05-14 889

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think two things cause people to have a vice.

First one is curiosity.
I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.

Second is lackadaicial attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.
But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. I feel sad after heard these news.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Min. Great job! I was impressed that you used the word lackadaisical. It is suitable in your sentence. ^^ Thank you for your hard work and efforts. 
-Khai
I think two things cause people to have a vice.

>> I think two things cause people to have vices.

First one is curiosity.

>> The first one is curiosity. 

I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
>> I heard that some teenagers start smoking or drinking earlier than the legal age out of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.
>> I think curiosity causes adults to start smoking, drinking, and especially taking drugs
Second is lackadaicial attitude.
>> The second is a lackadaisical attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.

>> I think that's why some people drive their cars after being drunk.

But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
>> This lackadaisical attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
>> So the government is imposing harsher punishment on drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
>> Also, when government officials are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment gets stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. 
>> However, we still hear the news that people seriously get hurt or die because of drunk drivers.
I feel sad after heard these news.

>> I feel sad whenever I hear this news.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137871 How do you maintain a professional conversation over the phone? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 1048
137870 WRITING TASK: What do you want your country to be best known for? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 3
137869 When giving up something ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 996
137868 13.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 4
137867 Do you think you should tip the staff in restaurants? Why or why... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-17 813
137866 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 2
137865 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137864 How important are first impressions to you? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 993
137863 Who is the scariest person you know? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 985
137862 Generally, what do kids in Korea want to be when they grow up?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1155
137861 stand out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1
137860 Home work ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-16 1101
137859 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 1156
137858 Free time ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137857 In the morning ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-15 0
137856 Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 897
137855 1 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1
137854 How to effectively save money for the future? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1278
137853 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 876
137852 K-drama ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-14 1452

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04