¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The possible causes for having a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-05-14 480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think two things cause people to have a vice.

First one is curiosity.
I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.

Second is lackadaicial attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.
But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. I feel sad after heard these news.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Min. Great job! I was impressed that you used the word lackadaisical. It is suitable in your sentence. ^^ Thank you for your hard work and efforts. 
-Khai
I think two things cause people to have a vice.

>> I think two things cause people to have vices.

First one is curiosity.

>> The first one is curiosity. 

I heard that some of teenager start smoking or drinking earlier than same age group because of curiosity.
>> I heard that some teenagers start smoking or drinking earlier than the legal age out of curiosity.
I think curiosity cause adult to start smoking, drinking, especially taking drugs.
>> I think curiosity causes adults to start smoking, drinking, and especially taking drugs
Second is lackadaicial attitude.
>> The second is a lackadaisical attitude.
I think that's why some people drive their own car after drunk.

>> I think that's why some people drive their cars after being drunk.

But this lackadaicial attitude can cause critical accidents.
>> This lackadaisical attitude can cause critical accidents.
So the government try to punish stronger to drunk drivers.
>> So the government is imposing harsher punishment on drunk drivers.
Also when the government official are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment get stronger.
>> Also, when government officials are caught in a crackdown on drunk drivers, the punishment gets stronger.
However we still hear the news that people get hurt seriously or dead because of drunk driver. 
>> However, we still hear the news that people seriously get hurt or die because of drunk drivers.
I feel sad after heard these news.

>> I feel sad whenever I hear this news.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138592 Tell me about your favorite movie or TV show. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 462
138591 The best age to settle down ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 501
138590 Do you agree or disagree with Wendy\'s opinion? Explain your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 2
138589 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 519
138588 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 4
138587 tourist spot ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138586 how much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138585 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 480
138584 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 720
138583 Why do some people collect things? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 7
138582 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 3
138581 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 875
138580 How accessible is the subway for people with disabilities in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 850
138579 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 522
138578 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 593
138577 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1
138576 What books have you recommended for other people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1
138575 2024.0717 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 584
138574 Homework ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 535
138573 Weekend plan [lesson 2] ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 535

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04