¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most popular toy for children nowadays?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-05-12 1333

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most popular toy is Nintendo or idol card and board games
Some boys like Nintendo game pack, some girls like idol card.
And board games are popular with all children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening there, Yale!

Here's your revised composition. As always, please go through the corrections and alternative expressions, such as "I would say...". Anyway, see you again on Wednesday!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



    
                          What do you think is the most popular toy for children nowadays?



I think the most popular toy is Nintendo or idol card and board games
>> OR: I would say that Nintendo or idol cards, and board games are the most popular toys these days. 

Some boys like Nintendo game pack, some girls like idol card.
>> Some boys like Nintendo game packs while some girls prefer idol cards.

And board games are popular with all children.
>> CORRECT~~

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136178 HOMEWORK FOR 04.05.2024 WRITING TASK: How can we maintain our... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-07 8
136177 What\'s your ideal dacoration for your house in the future?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-07 0
136176 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-07 2
136175 Suppose you could invent a new toy. Describe what it would do... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-06 0
136174 Reflect on a challenge you faced and how you overcame it. À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-06 1
136173 Why is it important to rest and relax during a long weekend? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-06 0
136172 2024.04.05 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 918
136171 Why is youth voting important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1321
136170 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1241
136169 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"When do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 2
136168 What is your city like? What\'s the best thing about it? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1458
136167 Staying overnight ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1268
136166 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1005
136165 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1
136164 2024.04.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1
136163 How do weekends make you feel? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 3
136162 Apri 3th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 883
136161 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1331
136160 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1080
136159 Do you remember all your dreams? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-05 1146

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04