¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most popular toy for children nowadays?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-05-12 181

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most popular toy is Nintendo or idol card and board games
Some boys like Nintendo game pack, some girls like idol card.
And board games are popular with all children.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening there, Yale!

Here's your revised composition. As always, please go through the corrections and alternative expressions, such as "I would say...". Anyway, see you again on Wednesday!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



    
                          What do you think is the most popular toy for children nowadays?



I think the most popular toy is Nintendo or idol card and board games
>> OR: I would say that Nintendo or idol cards, and board games are the most popular toys these days. 

Some boys like Nintendo game pack, some girls like idol card.
>> Some boys like Nintendo game packs while some girls prefer idol cards.

And board games are popular with all children.
>> CORRECT~~

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136953 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 2
136952 What are some popular sweets in your culture? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 320
136951 dialogue ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1
136950 How do you feel when people say that you look good? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 264
136949 2024.05.03 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 205
136948 How\'s your work efficiency? Write the factors that affect your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 2
136947 3.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 0
136946 What do you often do on Children\'s Day? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1
136945 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136944 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136943 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136942 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1
136941 Which products would you like to sell if you had your own store? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 249
136940 my favorite animal ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 231
136939 Have you ever experienced stiffness? If yes, how did you handle... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 267
136938 Gossip ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 2
136937 Could you tell me about your family? Write at least three things... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 280
136936 Who do you think is the worst superhero? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 190
136935 Describe a good memory you had when you were young. ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-04 214
136934 homework 05.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 267

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04