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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

homework 05.10

작성자: 최*�
2024-05-10 1399

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are many people afraid of multiculturalism?

Nowadays Korea is also getting used to be a multicultural society.
It's because the number of mixed-blood, immigrant, and foreign workers increased a lot compared to the past.
But, a lot of number of people still don't like multiculturalism society.
It's because there are problem between immigrants and natives.
Typically problem are religious and cultural differences.
And, I think many natives people has conservative ideas.
That's because most natives don't like changes.
For example, South Korea has freedom of religions, but many people actually don't like it Islamic religion and cultural.
And the topic in Korea these days is Islam.
But there is a difference in culture that is unfamiliar with them, so there is a problem every time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why are many people afraid of multiculturalism?


Nowadays Korea is also getting used to be a multicultural society.
>> CORRECT!
It's because the number of mixed-bloods, immigrants, and foreign workers increased a lot compared to the past.
>> CORRECT!
But, a lot of number of people still don't like multiculturalism society.
>> But, a lot of people still don't like multicultural society.
It's because there are problems between immigrants and natives.
>> CORRECT!
Typically problem are religious and cultural differences.
>> The most typical problems are religious and cultural differences.
And, I think many natives people has conservative ideas.
>> And, I think many natives have conservative ideas.
That's because most natives don't like changes.
>> CORRECT!
For example, South Korea has freedom of religions, but many people actually don't like it Islamic religion and cultural.
>> For example, South Korea has freedom of religions, but many people actually don't like Islamic religion and culture.
And the topic in Korea these days is Islam.
>> CORRECT!
But there is a difference in culture that is unfamiliar with them, so there is a problem every time.
>> CORRECT!

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HOW TO USE IT?

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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