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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The successive birthday parties to my family

작성자: 김*민
2024-05-09 1677

회원님의 영작문

Our family have celebrated birthday of family members in a row from January to February.

At first, we celebrate father's birthday. He was born 2 days before Lunar New Year's Day.
After that, my mother's birthday is coming. Her birthday is January 7th on the lunar calendar.
And 3 days later, it is my grandmother's birthday, and my birthday is January 14th on the lunar calender.
Finally about 1 month later, it is my brother's birthday.
Surprisingly, we celebrated grandfather's birthday when he was alive. His birthday is January 2th on the lunar calender!

So my family have thought about what kind of birthday cake to eat every years!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Min! Thank you for sharing this fun and interesting fact. ^^ I think it is always difficult for you and your family to decide what cake to buy every time you celebrate birthdays.
-Khai
Our family have celebrated birthday of family members in a row from January to February.

>> Our family celebrates the birthday of each member in a row from January to February.

At first, we celebrate father's birthday. 

>> First, we celebrate my father’s birthday.

He was born 2 days before Lunar New Year's Day.

>> CORRECT

After that, my mother's birthday is coming. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> After that, it will be my mother’s birthday.

Her birthday is January 7th on the lunar calendar.

>> CORRECT

And 3 days later, it is my grandmother's birthday, and my birthday is January 14th on the lunar calender.

>> And 3 days later, it is my grandmother's birthday. Then, my birthday is on January 14th on the lunar calendar.

Finally about 1 month later, it is my brother's birthday.

>> Finally, after 1 month, it is my brother’s birthday.

Surprisingly, we celebrated grandfather's birthday when he was alive. 

>> Surprisingly, we also celebrated my grandfather's birthday when he was alive. 

His birthday is January 2th on the lunar calender!

>> His birthday is January 2nd on the lunar calendar!

So my family have thought about what kind of birthday cake to eat every years!

>> So my family has thought about what kind of birthday cake to eat every year!


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