¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How much money do you save every day?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¸Í*¿µ
2024-05-06 522

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've saved a 40percent of my salary since I was 27.
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
QQQ invests main technology company in America. There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023. I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jun! Thank you so much for doing your homework. You did a wonderful job. Please take note of the corrections I made on your sentences. Keep it up and see you in class! ^^
-T. Julia
I've saved a 40 percent of my salary since I was 27.
>> Correct
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
>> Most of the money, I've bought American stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
>> Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best stock.
QQQ invests in main technology companies in America. 
>> Correct
There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
>> There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc., 100 major companies.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
>> These days, there are so many A.I. companies in the world that Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023.
>> Correct
I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
>> I believe that Palantir will be a high-value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.
>> High-risk investing is so dangerous that investors have to study the stock market and companies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133832 Filling in blanks ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 474
133831 Is it better to play sport competitively or just for fun? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 202
133830 Disadvantages of getting tours ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-12 180
133829 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133828 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 0
133827 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 51
133826 What is your stance on standardized tests? Do you think they... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 3
133825 How can we have a good night¡¯s sleep? What do you do? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 234
133824 homework 01.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 191
133823 What was the hardest part of the past week for you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 266
133822 About Chat GPT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1
133821 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2
133820 Influence of Social Media ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 260
133819 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 294
133818 My stomach ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 366
133817 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are other... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2
133816 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 225
133815 Cold weather is lingering after snow today. do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 397
133814 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 281
133813 What are the reasons why kids are afraid of going to the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 494

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04