¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How much money do you save every day?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¸Í*¿µ
2024-05-06 1056

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've saved a 40percent of my salary since I was 27.
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
QQQ invests main technology company in America. There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023. I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jun! Thank you so much for doing your homework. You did a wonderful job. Please take note of the corrections I made on your sentences. Keep it up and see you in class! ^^
-T. Julia
I've saved a 40 percent of my salary since I was 27.
>> Correct
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
>> Most of the money, I've bought American stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
>> Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best stock.
QQQ invests in main technology companies in America. 
>> Correct
There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
>> There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc., 100 major companies.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
>> These days, there are so many A.I. companies in the world that Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023.
>> Correct
I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
>> I believe that Palantir will be a high-value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.
>> High-risk investing is so dangerous that investors have to study the stock market and companies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136812 Do you think that one day there will be just one language in the... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1144
136811 What sport is difficult for you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1382
136810 2024.04.29 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 0
136809 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1587
136808 Would you like to visit Pyramid or a Giza of Egypt? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1169
136807 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1586
136806 That kind of culture is common in other countries where they use... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 4
136805 What is your favorite thing about yourself? Explain. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 2
136804 What do you think of black and white photography ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1
136803 How important is good customer service to the success of a... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 0
136802 Have you ever had to save anyone from drowning? Would you know... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 854
136801 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1003
136800 How do you feel about your parents older? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1
136799 Was there a time that you lacked sleep and food? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 1218
136798 april 26th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 969
136797 Which is the best public transportation for you? Why? ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 0
136796 What activities are you most looking forward to during this May... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 938
136795 HOMEWORK FOR April 26 / 29 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 4
136794 How do you want your future to be? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 951
136793 Do you think motorcycles will dominate roads in your country in... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-29 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04