무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why I think peer pressure is harmful

작성자: 김*경
2024-05-06 583

회원님의 영작문

As you see the word ‘peer pressure’ has a literal negative word ‘pressure’. Literally, peers can press their friends to do something against his will. Especially, youth can be so influenced by or susceptible to close friends that their influence can work as pressure to peers, such as bullying or ostracizing particular one. I think good behavior should be encouraged, not pressed by others. Therefore, as the old saying goes, birds in a feather flocks together. If someone wants to be under a good influence, he or she should be careful with friends around him or her.

Adolescent peer pressure began to enter the scene a few years ago when a great of information started to be shared through the SNS or Youtube. Youth can get a crude information which should be screened out because it can be detrimental to mind. Youth can follow a suit of behaviors in violent movies without thinking about it. Their peer pressure presses their friends to do something bad that good things.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I agree with your opinion on this. Well done!

-Teacher Ash. 

As you see the word ‘peer pressure’ has a literal negative word ‘pressure’. 
>> As you can see the word ‘peer pressure’ has a negative word ‘pressure’. 

Literally, peers can press their friends to do something against his will. 
>> Literally, peers can press their friends to do something against their will. 

Especially, youth can be so influenced by or susceptible to close friends that their influence can work as pressure to peers, such as bullying or ostracizing particular one.
>> Especially youth nowadays are easily influenced by their close friends, especially when they are being bullied or ostracize. 

 I think good behavior should be encouraged, not pressed by others. 
>> CORRECT

Therefore, as the old saying goes, birds in a feather flocks together. 
>> Therefore, as the old saying goes, birds with the same feather flocks together. 

If someone wants to be under a good influence, he or she should be careful with friends around him or her.
>>If someone wishes to be influenced positively, they should exercise caution with the friends they surround themselves with.

Adolescent peer pressure began to enter the scene a few years ago when a great of information started to be shared through the SNS or Youtube. 
>>Peer pressure among the young people began a few years ago when information is shared through SNS and YouTube. 

Youth can get a crude information which should be screened out because it can be detrimental to mind. 
>> Information for young people should be filtered because it can be detrimental to their minds.

Youth can follow a suit of behaviors in violent movies without thinking about it. 
>> They can follow bad behaviors in violent movies without thinking about the consequence. 

Their peer pressure presses their friends to do something bad that good things.
>> These pressures push them to do bad things instead of choosing to do good.  
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
137484 What are the nonliving things? 박*현 완료 2024-05-29 244
137483 Questions proposal 나*진 완료 2024-05-29 338
137482 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-05-29 373
137481 Home work for 05/27 장*휴 완료 2024-05-29 5
137480 homework 이*수 완료 2024-05-29 323
137479 Do you always give your honest opinion when asked for it? 최*영 완료 2024-05-29 3
137478 first impression 민*정 완료 2024-05-29 1
137477 Some animals shed their fur or make other kinds of mess. How can... 박*호 완료 2024-05-29 279
137476 Describe a job you had before 오*소 완료 2024-05-29 0
137475 What sort of gifts do people buy for the bridal couple? 오*소 완료 2024-05-29 0
137474 What kind of clothes did the bride and groom wear? 오*소 완료 2024-05-29 0
137473 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-05-28 381
137472 homework 05.28 최*� 완료 2024-05-28 278
137471 What\'s the best birthday gift you\'ve ever received? Why do you... 차*혁 완료 2024-05-28 318
137470 HW 양*윤 완료 2024-05-28 314
137469 What are the things you\'re good at? Write at least two and... 차*진 완료 2024-05-28 237
137468 2024.05.28 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-05-28 381
137467 What comes to mind when you hear the word \"hospital\"? 오*혁 완료 2024-05-28 0
137466 What would you do if you were the richest person in the world?... 박*은 완료 2024-05-28 343
137465 When was the last time you went to a good restaurant? What did... 박*은 완료 2024-05-28 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]