¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-05-02 1283

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
See you soon!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Diego~!^^ Thanks for having an impressive understanding and depth of knowledge about your interests in writing topics. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Scientists have been warning for many years already that in order to protect the environment people should use less energy. 
However, most people do not change their ways of living. What is causing this behavior? How can people be encouraged to change?

There's a great apologue which is called 'Boiling frog.' 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The frog won't jump out from the pot because it boils slowly. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However frog will jump out when suddenly pot becomes hot.
>>> However, [the] frog [tried jumping] out when suddenly [the] pot becomes hot. 
This story tells us, people don't aware the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
>>> This story tells us that people aren't aware of the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
They need sudden impact or else they will stay dull. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Some people might still, there is hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
>>> Some people might think that there is still hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
 We are already paying the debt for what we have done for centuries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Around the world, so many disasters coming up.
>>> Around the world, so many disasters [occur].
Floods, abnormal temperature, typhoon, hurricanes and etc, but still, we recognize as simple events, unconnected phenomena.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The main course of the environment pollution is China and America.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They are powerful nations, other countries spend their products.
>>> They are powerful nations that other countries [consume] their products.
Their products inevitably accompany environment pollutions.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So we cannot just blame them however, we have to make them concerned about the environment. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both countries are not even joining in 'Paris Climate Agreement'.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is time to unite and make one voice to both countries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 This problem cannot be solved by individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It should be treated by the government and companies.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The forceful measure is the effective way to change our behavior.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140648 Who is the weirdest person you\'ve heard of or known? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 929
140647 How do you think your research findings could impact breast... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 909
140646 25Oct2024_home work ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 976
140645 How do you rate the medical system in your country from 1-10, 10... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 998
140644 Should student be required to do volunteer work ? °­*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 956
140643 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 915
140642 What\'s your least favorite chore when it comes to cleaning the... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 855
140641 Use the expressions in sentences! ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-27 1
140640 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-26 2
140639 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-26 904
140638 Your year color and animal is~~ Çö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1
140637 teacher ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1
140636 homework ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 987
140635 When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 963
140634 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 965
140633 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 983
140632 What is the most memorable or unforgettable place for you and... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 961
140631 Do you agree with the statement \"Failure is the most effective... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 1011
140630 How do you think nature affects your mood and behavior? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 988
140629 you can get a lot of benefit to meet new people Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-25 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04