¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-05-02 690

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
See you soon!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Diego~!^^ Thanks for having an impressive understanding and depth of knowledge about your interests in writing topics. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Scientists have been warning for many years already that in order to protect the environment people should use less energy. 
However, most people do not change their ways of living. What is causing this behavior? How can people be encouraged to change?

There's a great apologue which is called 'Boiling frog.' 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The frog won't jump out from the pot because it boils slowly. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However frog will jump out when suddenly pot becomes hot.
>>> However, [the] frog [tried jumping] out when suddenly [the] pot becomes hot. 
This story tells us, people don't aware the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
>>> This story tells us that people aren't aware of the changing  environment when it goes slowly. 
They need sudden impact or else they will stay dull. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Some people might still, there is hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
>>> Some people might think that there is still hope, but I don't think people can change themselves.
 We are already paying the debt for what we have done for centuries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Around the world, so many disasters coming up.
>>> Around the world, so many disasters [occur].
Floods, abnormal temperature, typhoon, hurricanes and etc, but still, we recognize as simple events, unconnected phenomena.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The main course of the environment pollution is China and America.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
They are powerful nations, other countries spend their products.
>>> They are powerful nations that other countries [consume] their products.
Their products inevitably accompany environment pollutions.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So we cannot just blame them however, we have to make them concerned about the environment. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Both countries are not even joining in 'Paris Climate Agreement'.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is time to unite and make one voice to both countries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 This problem cannot be solved by individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It should be treated by the government and companies.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 The forceful measure is the effective way to change our behavior.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136350 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 643
136349 2024.04.11 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 735
136348 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136347 Do you think you\'re a naturally hard-working person? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 644
136346 Is there any holiday in other countries that you wish Korea were... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 598
136345 How important is your hairstyle to you, and why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1258
136344 \"The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.\" ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1095
136343 Once Aristotle said : \"To avoid criticism say nothing, do... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 966
136342 election ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 566
136341 What can you do better when you are alone? Write at least two... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 889
136340 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 593
136339 Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 695
136338 If you could choose, would you prefer to be the oldest sibling,... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 844
136337 Advice for those who want to marry ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 682
136336 What foreign food do Koreans enjoy? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 568
136335 The researcher\'s life ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1031
136334 Page.48 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1
136333 April 17th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 581
136332 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 758
136331 Are video games good for you? Why? Á¤*Æò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 567

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04