¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework 4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-04-30 693

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
Your wise advice always inspires me.
I wish you have great day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Diego! ^^ Something special awaits you each day. All you need is to recognize it and make the most of it. Have a positive attitude throughout the day and then that today is going to be the best day of your life! See you! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
 Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society.  Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I believe both point of views about education are all correct and acceptable.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We can expect contribution in society and personal success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education can generate holistic human who can develop society in various area.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Their talents can be found through education. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
By developing one's skills and ability, whole society earns benefits.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education occurs desirable competition that can provide fair opportunity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, we must not forget, education is not be only used as tools to maintain society.
>>> However, we must not forget, education shouldn't only be used as a tool to maintain society.
 If there is no consideration about personal desire, that can lead society to totalitarianism.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The negative effects of totalitarianism never accepts minorities' opinions which can provide chance to solve problems in society such as human rights, environment issues and expressions of liberties.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There is no reason to suppress one's desire to success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Education should support one's career and dreams.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once the individual values harmonized with society's importance, both individual and society can flourish and help each other. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Society should encourage desirable competition and equal opportunities to achieve one's goals. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education is excellent method to contribute to both society and individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132570 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 827
132569 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 0
132568 What is the most fun while studying ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 448
132567 Library ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 0
132566 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1038
132565 The effect of ads ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1173
132564 Similar character ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 577
132563 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 545
132562 homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1198
132561 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1
132560 welfare ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1145
132559 What do you prefer, to eat everything you like, drink a lot,... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1101
132558 Q. Do you think Saudi Arabia¡¯s tactic of attracting players is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 3
132557 which activities do you think you still need to work on... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 379
132556 What are the disadvantages of rote learning? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 0
132555 Debate competitiom ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1119
132554 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1
132553 My two best friends °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 1
132552 Snow ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 914
132551 If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 1339

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04