¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework 4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-04-30 654

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
Your wise advice always inspires me.
I wish you have great day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Diego! ^^ Something special awaits you each day. All you need is to recognize it and make the most of it. Have a positive attitude throughout the day and then that today is going to be the best day of your life! See you! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
 Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society.  Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I believe both point of views about education are all correct and acceptable.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We can expect contribution in society and personal success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education can generate holistic human who can develop society in various area.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Their talents can be found through education. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
By developing one's skills and ability, whole society earns benefits.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education occurs desirable competition that can provide fair opportunity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, we must not forget, education is not be only used as tools to maintain society.
>>> However, we must not forget, education shouldn't only be used as a tool to maintain society.
 If there is no consideration about personal desire, that can lead society to totalitarianism.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The negative effects of totalitarianism never accepts minorities' opinions which can provide chance to solve problems in society such as human rights, environment issues and expressions of liberties.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There is no reason to suppress one's desire to success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Education should support one's career and dreams.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once the individual values harmonized with society's importance, both individual and society can flourish and help each other. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Society should encourage desirable competition and equal opportunities to achieve one's goals. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education is excellent method to contribute to both society and individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133164 homework 12.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1231
133163 Is your hometown famous for anything? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3
133162 unit 12. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133161 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 238
133160 Should students have the option of grading their teachers? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133159 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you afraid... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2
133158 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133157 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 352
133156 Where i want to go in one country ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 969
133155 What is the best thing to do after graduation? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133154 Describe your experience watching Cats. ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133153 WRITING TASK: Do you think the types of collections people like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133152 Why do you think there are so many different languages in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 330
133151 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 421
133150 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 400
133149 The role of status ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 285
133148 Advice to someone ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 655
133147 Do you prefer domestic or overseas trip? Why? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 380
133146 What do you like best about the Korean culture? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3
133145 What strategies do you use to handle your duties at work when... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 448

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04