¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework 4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-04-30 1122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
Your wise advice always inspires me.
I wish you have great day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Diego! ^^ Something special awaits you each day. All you need is to recognize it and make the most of it. Have a positive attitude throughout the day and then that today is going to be the best day of your life! See you! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
 Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society.  Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I believe both point of views about education are all correct and acceptable.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We can expect contribution in society and personal success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education can generate holistic human who can develop society in various area.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Their talents can be found through education. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
By developing one's skills and ability, whole society earns benefits.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education occurs desirable competition that can provide fair opportunity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, we must not forget, education is not be only used as tools to maintain society.
>>> However, we must not forget, education shouldn't only be used as a tool to maintain society.
 If there is no consideration about personal desire, that can lead society to totalitarianism.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The negative effects of totalitarianism never accepts minorities' opinions which can provide chance to solve problems in society such as human rights, environment issues and expressions of liberties.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There is no reason to suppress one's desire to success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Education should support one's career and dreams.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once the individual values harmonized with society's importance, both individual and society can flourish and help each other. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Society should encourage desirable competition and equal opportunities to achieve one's goals. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education is excellent method to contribute to both society and individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135430 If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1271
135429 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1262
135428 stand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1
135427 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 859
135426 What musical insterment is the most difficult to play? Why do... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1661
135425 How can respect be shown towards people with different opinions... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1381
135424 What is your ideal family structure? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 735
135423 HOMEWORK - How can we avoid competition among students in school? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 1126
135422 AI technologies ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 929
135421 Which social networking services do you use? What do you like or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 941
135420 HOMEWORK FOR 03.12.2024 WRITING TASK: When was the last time you... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 3
135419 Wrong advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 789
135418 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 2
135417 What do you do to get the things that you desire? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-12 854
135416 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 865
135415 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2
135414 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2
135413 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 584
135412 On the road ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 1140
135411 homework 03.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 1015

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04