¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework 4

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-04-30 490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Thank you Gemma!
Your wise advice always inspires me.
I wish you have great day!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day Diego! ^^ Something special awaits you each day. All you need is to recognize it and make the most of it. Have a positive attitude throughout the day and then that today is going to be the best day of your life! See you! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
 Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society.  Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I believe both point of views about education are all correct and acceptable.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We can expect contribution in society and personal success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education can generate holistic human who can develop society in various area.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Their talents can be found through education. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
By developing one's skills and ability, whole society earns benefits.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education occurs desirable competition that can provide fair opportunity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, we must not forget, education is not be only used as tools to maintain society.
>>> However, we must not forget, education shouldn't only be used as a tool to maintain society.
 If there is no consideration about personal desire, that can lead society to totalitarianism.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
The negative effects of totalitarianism never accepts minorities' opinions which can provide chance to solve problems in society such as human rights, environment issues and expressions of liberties.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There is no reason to suppress one's desire to success.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Education should support one's career and dreams.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Once the individual values harmonized with society's importance, both individual and society can flourish and help each other. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Society should encourage desirable competition and equal opportunities to achieve one's goals. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Education is excellent method to contribute to both society and individuals.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134962 Importance of beauty ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 233
134961 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 2
134960 For foreign movies, do you prefer movies with Korean/English... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 246
134959 2023.02.23 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 0
134958 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 0
134957 Please correct the sentence Julia ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-24 3
134956 Write about ont of your memeorable birthday celebrations. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 339
134955 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 603
134954 homework 02.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 435
134953 Discuss the pros and cons of using public transportation versus... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 363
134952 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2
134951 Buying the stuff I need ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 240
134950 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134949 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 267
134948 2/20 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 1
134947 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 2
134946 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 249
134945 Some people think it¡¯s a good idea to wear a uniform at work. ÀÓ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 884
134944 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0
134943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04