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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What preparation in general do you need to have before attempting extreme sports?

작성자: 박*호
2024-04-26 330

회원님의 영작문

Extreme sports are very dangerous and can cause serious injury and, in extreme cases, death.
Bungee jumping, paragliding, bare-handed rock climbing, snowboarding, water skiing, and skydiving are well known to people.
I've never tried it before because I'm scared, but the number of people around me who enjoy extreme sports is increasing.
However, the number of cases of people getting seriously injured or even dying while enjoying extreme sports is increasing.
Therefore, you need to be very careful before attempting extreme sports.
If you are trying the sport, I would give the following advice:
First, you need to consult with an extreme sports expert in advance to choose a sport that suits you well.
Second, after selecting a sport, you must receive sufficient training under the guidance of an expert.
Third, you must have sufficient equipment appropriate for the event.
Fourth, when attempting a sport, you must do so under the guidance of an expert.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Friday, Sun! 

Extreme sports require you to be strong but also lean so you can move fast. Focus your training on programs that build form as opposed to bulk. Adding the right strength training regiment to your plan will also help reduce the risk of injury. Structured programs like performance training fit that bill perfectly.

- Kristine ^^ 

Extreme sports are very dangerous and can cause serious injury and, in extreme cases, death.
>> Correct. 
Bungee jumping, paragliding, bare-handed rock climbing, snowboarding, water skiing, and skydiving are well known to people.
>> Correct. 
I've never tried it before because I'm scared, but the number of people around me who enjoy extreme sports is increasing.
>> Correct. 
However, the number of cases of people getting seriously injured or even dying while enjoying extreme sports is increasing.
>> However, there are a growing number of incidents where participants in extreme sports suffer life-threatening injuries or even die.
Therefore, you need to be very careful before attempting extreme sports.
>> Correct. 
If you are trying the sport, I would give the following advice:
>> I would recommend the following tips for you if your decide to try extreme sports:
First, you need to consult with an extreme sports expert in advance to choose a sport that suits you well.
>> Correct. 
Second, after selecting a sport, you must receive sufficient training under the guidance of an expert.
>> Second, once you've chosen a sport, you need to train hard enough under the supervision of a professional.
Third, you must have sufficient equipment appropriate for the event.
>> Correct. 
Fourth, when attempting a sport, you must do so under the guidance of an expert.
>> Correct. 
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