¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-25 467

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?

I think each country should have military forces.
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?


I think each country should have military forces.
>> CORRECT!
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
>> CORRECT!
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
>> But for some countries, they don't have military forces or they can't make formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
>> The biggest reasons are political problems and geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
>> CORRECT!
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
>> They don't have a formal army, and instead, police officers play the role of the army or other neighboring countries help in the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
>> Among the countries that don't have a military, Japan is a unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
>> CORRECT!
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
>> But, they are made for the Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
>> This is not called the Army, but it serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139328 demanding customer ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 11
139327 felt proud whil ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 12
139326 How can countries prevent conflicts when other nations are not... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139325 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139324 20.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139323 Imagine a day in the life of a character who has the power to... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 834
139322 8/21 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139321 How does social media influence the way people communicate with... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 740
139320 What do you like about your community? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 631
139319 What do you think is the right job for you when you grow up?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 633
139318 What did you do the day before yesterday and write about your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 818
139317 What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 738
139316 What do you think is the best way to go to school? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1006
139315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139314 2024.08.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 627
139313 The positive side of peer pressure ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 894
139312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 697
139311 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139310 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 422
139309 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 914

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04