¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-25 1234

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?

I think each country should have military forces.
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?


I think each country should have military forces.
>> CORRECT!
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
>> CORRECT!
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
>> But for some countries, they don't have military forces or they can't make formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
>> The biggest reasons are political problems and geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
>> CORRECT!
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
>> They don't have a formal army, and instead, police officers play the role of the army or other neighboring countries help in the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
>> Among the countries that don't have a military, Japan is a unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
>> CORRECT!
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
>> But, they are made for the Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
>> This is not called the Army, but it serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136382 2024.04.12 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1161
136381 How have cars improved our lives or have caused more problems... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1125
136380 What do you think about putting in effort but no progress? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1981
136379 Something I would risk my life ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1480
136378 12.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1
136377 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 2
136376 What do you like about living in your neighborhood? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 3
136375 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1583
136374 What do you borrow from your friends? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1240
136373 What do say when you want to know if a person needs help? Write... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1464
136372 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 2
136371 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1730
136370 HOMEWORK FOR 04.12.2024 WRITING TASK: Which chore do you like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 5
136369 What are your thoughts on Korean fashion? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 2054
136368 Describe a useful website ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1
136367 How do you take care of your teeth? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 3
136366 In Korea, there are many people who fawn on Mondays. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 2003
136365 These are my favorite days :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1627
136364 If I could have chosen any job, I wanted to be an astrophysicist. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1727
136363 Rest is very important! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 1906

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04