¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-25 252

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?

I think each country should have military forces.
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?


I think each country should have military forces.
>> CORRECT!
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
>> CORRECT!
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
>> But for some countries, they don't have military forces or they can't make formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
>> The biggest reasons are political problems and geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
>> CORRECT!
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
>> They don't have a formal army, and instead, police officers play the role of the army or other neighboring countries help in the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
>> Among the countries that don't have a military, Japan is a unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
>> CORRECT!
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
>> But, they are made for the Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
>> This is not called the Army, but it serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135895 WRITING TASK: How do you easily relieve stress? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135894 Who is a poor person who became rich and famous in your country... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135893 What drink do you often have but best avoided? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135892 When a child claims about behavioral disease, should he/she be... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 3
135891 Is it better to be ¡°rich and famous¡± or to be ¡°rich and... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135890 what are public toilets like in your country ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 561
135889 How do you usually plan your trips? Are you more of a... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 314
135888 What activities do you and your mom enjoy doing together? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135887 Advising in English ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 513
135886 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 402
135885 What¡¯s in your hand? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 183
135884 What¡¯s the best piece of advice you can give someone who is... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 0
135883 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135882 House ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135881 Homework Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 296
135880 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-26 423
135879 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-26 477
135878 Homework ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-26 418
135877 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-26 390
135876 What do you usually do with your friends? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-26 380

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04