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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Think about vegetarianism and why you think it is not applicable for everyone.

작성자: 김*경
2024-04-25 841

회원님의 영작문

It is sure that vegetarianism lacks some nutrients because of his biased diet. I believe we were created to eat animals to survive. So, it is against our inherent survival system in nutrients to eat only vegetables or fruits. But I see some people look healthy despite of their one-sided diet while others are likely to get sick on diet without meat or chicken. That’s why vegetarianism can’t apply to everyone. No matter what makes you keep away from meat, it’s only what each person has to choose, but not what you persuade others to follow because it’s health-related problem.

One more reason that vegetarianism can’t apply to everyone is their humiliation for those eating meat. As I mentioned early, we need nutrients from meat because of some nutrients that our body can’t produce. But some vegetarians just criticize those eating meat, ignoring our inherent nutrient-related system although they have the same body like us. So It’s just personal taste which we can’t compel others to do.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Steve,

Thanks for sharing your opinion. I strongly agree with you. People should not impose their beliefs on others. ^^

-Teacher Ash

It is sure that vegetarianism lacks some nutrients because of his biased diet.
>> It is certain that a vegetarian diet may be lacking in certain nutrients due to its biased nature. 

I believe we were created to eat animals to survive. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> I believe, we were created to eat meat to survive. 

So, it is against our inherent survival system in nutrients to eat only vegetables or fruits.
>>Eating only vegetables or fruits goes against our natural instinct for nutrient-rich foods that support our survival.

But I see some people look healthy despite of their one-sided diet while others are likely to get sick on diet without meat or chicken. 
>> While some people seem to thrive on a one-sided diet, others might face health issues if they opt for a diet lacking in meat or chicken.

That’s why vegetarianism can’t apply to everyone. 
>> That’s why vegetarianism is not for everyone.  

No matter what makes you keep away from meat, it’s only what each person has to choose, but not what you persuade others to follow because it’s health-related problem.
>> Regardless of the reasons that lead individuals to abstain from meat, it's a personal decision that should be respected. Health-related concerns are subjective, and it's not appropriate to impose one's choices on others.

One more reason that vegetarianism can’t apply to everyone is their humiliation for those eating meat.
>> One reason vegetarianism is not for everyone is because some vegetarians look down upon meat- eaters.

As I mentioned early, we need nutrients from meat because of some nutrients that our body can’t produce. 
>> As stated earlier, our bodies need certain nutrients found in meat that are not produce internally.

But some vegetarians just criticize those eating meat, ignoring our inherent nutrient-related system although they have the same body like us. 
>> However, some vegetarians criticize meat-eaters without considering the inherent nutrient requirements of the human body, despite sharing the same biological needs.

So It’s just personal taste which we can’t compel others to do.
>> Therefore, dietary choices boil down to personal preference, and it's not appropriate to impose one's choices onto others.

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