¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework 2

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Û*ÈÆ
2024-04-24 2087

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Sorry for late submit!
Thank you :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there DIEGO! Thank you for being so expressive of  your opinions. I see that you always try your best in everything you do! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past.  What may be the root cause of this behavior? Discuss the reasons and possible results. 
There are several reasons why both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
First, I believe, personal growth of wealth made people spend their time and money on beauty care.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example, makeup belongs to rich or special occupation such as shaman or artists. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^s. 
Normal group had no time and money to spend on it.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, as personal wealth grows, people can pay attention to beauty.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Second, media evolution changed people's mind.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People tend to follow the star's outfits and then it becomes a trend.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Not only female stars but also male stars makeup these days.
>>> Not only female stars but also male stars [wear] makeup these days. 
Young generatian who is positive to decorate themselves, easily imitates stars. 
>>> The young generation which is positive to [fashion] themselves, easily imitates stars. 
Since spending much time and money on beauty care, there are some positive and negative influences.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
First, good influence is encouraging beauty industries.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Cosmetic industry has been growing in Korea since 2000.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Now it is a one of main export industry.
>>> Now, it is one of the biggest in export industry. 
 Many jobs and added value created through beauty industries. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, there's also a negative aspect.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People tend to judge by one's oufit, not one's behavior. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People responded in a research that 'outfit is the one of most important factors to pass the job interview or earn something from other people.' 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People lost sef-esteem because of outfit beauty and degrade themselves.
>>> People lost their self-esteem because of outfit beauty [which] degrade themselves.

                        
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128570 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1920
128569 Comfort ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128568 Homework 5/31 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128567 Household chores that I¡¯ve been doing ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1919
128566 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1900
128565 What do you think of North Korea? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 0
128564 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 2153
128563 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1758
128562 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1790
128561 Answer : How is your younger self different from the person you... Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1366
128560 Should you pay attention to what other people say about you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128559 I like to stay at home on holidays. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1523
128558 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128557 Homewrok ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1749
128556 The best ways for art to be appreciated by people ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1324
128555 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1
128554 In 3-5 sentences, please answer the question: Is there a game... ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-31 1239
128553 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1304
128552 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1638
128551 Has your hometown changed a lot since you were a kid? If so,... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1517

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04