¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-04-24 553

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
We need to distinguish who need to help.
Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
It is more natural I think.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Sunny!
I grasp your point that the government has been implementing various tax measures, which also serve as a means to dissuade individuals from consuming unhealthy products like soda, cigarettes, and alcohol. 
Then perhaps we should entrust the decision to the consumer. After all, it will always lead to personal choice.
Good day!
Aki~

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
>>> CORRECT!

We need to distinguish who need to help.
>>> We need to distinguish who needs help.

Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
>>> Our country has a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.

And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
>>> And the government is already imposing a tax on every consumption.

The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
>>> The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
 
It is more natural I think.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134737 Describe a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcame... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 304
134736 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 405
134735 On what occasions do you usually go to an amusement park? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 659
134734 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 262
134733 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 325
134732 Is it proper to euthanize patients who have \"Sleeping Beauty... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 429
134731 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 246
134730 Which one do you think is more difficult, lose your sight or... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134729 What do you think is the worst social problem? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 316
134728 What are the effects of loving to read? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 2
134727 Some people think video games are a waste of time. What do you... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134726 What Korean tradition do you like most? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134725 WRITING TASK: What do you enjoy eating with your friends? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 3
134724 Catch up the fashion ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 181
134723 Advise ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1
134722 Giving a hand ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1
134721 Have you ever helped a friend when they really needed help ?... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 351
134720 Hiring part-time instructors ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 503
134719 what do you think of leaves ±è*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 226
134718 homework 02.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-15 173

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04