¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-04-24 381

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
We need to distinguish who need to help.
Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
It is more natural I think.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Sunny!
I grasp your point that the government has been implementing various tax measures, which also serve as a means to dissuade individuals from consuming unhealthy products like soda, cigarettes, and alcohol. 
Then perhaps we should entrust the decision to the consumer. After all, it will always lead to personal choice.
Good day!
Aki~

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
>>> CORRECT!

We need to distinguish who need to help.
>>> We need to distinguish who needs help.

Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
>>> Our country has a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.

And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
>>> And the government is already imposing a tax on every consumption.

The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
>>> The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
 
It is more natural I think.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137026 Fast food ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 237
137025 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 217
137024 What is the most difficult task you have ever done in your... À¯* ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137023 Homework and Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 217
137022 Are you a punctual person? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 233
137021 2024.05.07 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 304
137020 How do you like to spend your free time? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137019 How important is money? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137018 Which are more useful, legs or arms? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 224
137017 my expectation to the class ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 361
137016 About first impression. ÃÖ* ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 261
137015 May 6th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 176
137014 Best advice I\'ll give to anyone. ÃÖ* ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 385
137013 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 288
137012 Some embarrassing situations as a child. ÃÖ* ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 318
137011 What is your favorite word in English? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137010 The best sleep ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 296
137009 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 300
137008 HOMEWORK FOR 05.08.2024 WRITING TASK: In what ways can... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 12
137007 Why is organic food so much more expensive? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 424

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04