¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´Ô
2024-04-24 416

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
We need to distinguish who need to help.
Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
It is more natural I think.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day, Ms. Sunny!
I grasp your point that the government has been implementing various tax measures, which also serve as a means to dissuade individuals from consuming unhealthy products like soda, cigarettes, and alcohol. 
Then perhaps we should entrust the decision to the consumer. After all, it will always lead to personal choice.
Good day!
Aki~

I don¡¯t think there is a junk food tax for disease.
>>> CORRECT!

We need to distinguish who need to help.
>>> We need to distinguish who needs help.

Our country have a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.
>>> Our country has a medical system for people who have serious disease and poor patients.

And government is already imposing the tax to every consumption.
>>> And the government is already imposing a tax on every consumption.

The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
>>> The more people who consume a lot They are taxing a lot.
 
It is more natural I think.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137349 in Bundang ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 1
137348 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 501
137347 Question and Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 372
137346 2024.05.21 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 376
137345 HW ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 2
137344 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 328
137343 About both the New challenge °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 405
137342 HOMEWORK FOR 05.22.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the drawbacks of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 5
137341 What is the most attractive personality trait a person can have? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 319
137340 How I deal with pimple ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 4
137339 How can practicing the short vowel sound [uh] be most enjoyable? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 371
137338 The best thing in Japan ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 411
137337 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 304
137336 The world is full of trash, and one of them is electronic... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 445
137335 Homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 3
137334 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 372
137333 The star who is living in my mind forever ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-22 375
137332 Homework ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-21 398
137331 Pirated products ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-21 365
137330 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04